Fantastic Beasts and How to Slay Them: Ramora

If you want to move something in Dungeons & Dragons, there’s rules for it. Whether you want to grab and shove someone around, shift heavy objects to and for, carry too much in your pack, the game has you covered. There are various magical means for moving things, though their are weight limits on these abilities. The point is, everything can be moved, one way or another.

Even the ‘Immovable Rod’ can be moved. It takes 4 tonnes of pressure to do so, but you can shift it, even if the names suggests otherwise.

I mention this, to emphasis how powerful the Ramora is. To simply ‘anchor’ a massive ship out at see, or steer that ship to safety, requires some serious physical or magical force.

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Fantastic Beasts and How to Slay Them: Quintaped

Even amongst the weirdest of fantastical creatures, five legs is an oddity. Some animals are technically ‘pentapedal’ if you count the tail, and if you search for “five legged monsters” online, you get a lot of reference to a dad joke about the monster’s pants. There’s probably a very specific, mythological beast I’m missing that prevents the Quintaped from being completely unique, but it’s setup is definitely more bonkers than the average.

Not to mention that the Quintaped were once a Scottish clan that were cursed into monstrous forms and then killed those that cursed them and refuse to be turned back to normal out of spite. They weren’t angry about being cursed. They started angry and when they were warped, they owned it.

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Fantastic Beasts and How to Slay Them: Puffskein

I go back and forth on whether or not I want a pet. I like visiting people who own pets. It’s not that I don’t want the commitment, it’s just that I’m not sure what kind of pet I would like. I think I’m more of a dog person, my wife prefers cats, my daughter would probably be happier with something smaller…

What I am sure of, is that I would not want a Puffskein as a pet. I get that wizards may want a magical critter as their companion, but a ball of fluff with an impossibly long, searching tongue can politely stay out of my house.

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Fantastic Beasts and How to Slay Them: Pogrebin

There’s a creature in D&D called the ‘Intellect Devourer’. It’s essentially a big brain on legs. In terms of challenge levels, the Intellect Devourer is fairly flimsy on it’s own. Yet it also has an ability that causes permadeath.

The intellect devourer initiates an Intelligence contest with an incapacitated humanoid within 5 feet of it. If it wins the contest, the intellect devourer magically consumes the target’s brain, teleports into the target’s skull, and takes control of the target’s body.

Monster Manual

Usually when you’re knocked out in battle, you get to roll to avoid death, and if you fail, a healer might bring you back. The lowly Devourer eats your brain before any of that happens.

The Pogrebin has the same energy. A small critter that could easily be dispatched, but with a potentially character-ending ability. All it needs is a little time.

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Fantastic Beasts and How to Slay Them: Plimpy

Some days it’s a majestic phoenix… some days it’s a fish with legs…

A fish that is mildly dangerous to snails and swimming costumes and not much else. A fish whose legs are its main mode of transportation and its greatest weakness. A fish that people would rather tie up and send down the river than catch and eat. It’s not quite flobberworm territory, but it’s bobbing pathetically alongside that line.

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Fantastic Beasts and How to Slay Them: Phoenix

A phoenix from the Potterverse feels like the perfect pet for those people that practice ‘one-upmanship’. Those sort of people that always have a more impressive anecdote locked and loaded as soon as your story is finished. Or those children that make up new rules for games on the fly so they don’t lose.

Your dog is very cute, but my bird can heal me when it cries. And its singing is magical. Aaand it’s super strong. Aaand

Dungeons & Dragons already has a phoenix. It’s a gigantic elemental, always on fire and (presumably) always angry. Just a mass of fiery feathers. Nothing like the little, Deus Ex Machina that is Fawkes. Though the Potterverse Phoenix lacks the scale of their counterpart, it has a colourful array of abilities to aid the adventuring wizards out there.

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Fantastic Beasts and How to Slay Them: Occamy

As I turn each Fantastic Beast into a D&D monster, I keep bumping into differences between the brief description in the book and the extra pizzazz of the movie version.

The movie version of the Occamy has just one small/massive difference from the original description…

A creature that can change it’s size to ‘fit the available space’ is a whole mechanical conundrum in terms of creating a monster stat block.

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Fantastic Beasts and How to Slay Them: Nundu

Finally. We’ve made it to the monster that started me on this little project.

When I read the brief description of the nundu, my instant though was: “I want this in my Dungeons & Dragons”. I’m sure other people have got here before me, but I need to make this one myself.

It’s that one line that makes this monster so compelling:

…it has never yet been subdued by fewer than a hundred skilled wizards working together.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

One. Hundred. Skilled. Wizards. The nundu is supposed to be one of the most dangerous things in the wizarding world, and if we use D&D monster challenge ratings correctly, this monster is going to be top tier in both fantasy realms.

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Fantastic Beasts and How to Slay Them: Nogtail

In my opinion, pigs are cute. You might agree.

However, pigs with spindly legs are not as cute. You are free to disagree.

Demon pigs with gangly legs that sneak into farms and curse the land are not cute at all. That’s not really up for debate.

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Fantastic Beasts and How to Slay Them: Niffler

Have you ever wanted a Bag of Holding that is also a fluffy, kleptomaniacal duck-billed platypus?

You… you haven’t? Oh… I guess great minds don’t always think alike.

Well, either way, it exists. And now they can be in your D&D game. An adorable, beaky thief with an extradimensional space in their itty bitty tummy.

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