Mergo’s Wet Nurse: An Unskilled Guide

Most advice on how to beat bosses in FromSoftware games falls into one of three camps. Camp One: Accurate, but very technical, assuming the reader has accrued some amount of skill. Camp Two: “Git gud”. Camp Three is the most nuanced: “What-are-you-talking-about-that-boss-is-easy!”.

With the exception of the Witches, who I repeatedly beat by running around in circles and swinging carefree, I will always acknowledge that all bosses will be difficult to someone. Flukes happen, different attack patterns suit different play-styles, etc.

However, Mergo’s Wet Nurse initially had me rolling my temporarily-smug little eyes. It took two goes to beat a late game boss and with very little stress. Thankfully, I played the game again and she showed me what she can really do. Turns out, she’d been holding back.

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Incredibles – Greatest Disney BBEG?

I hope you’d agree with me that a TTRPG set in the Incredibles would be amazing. Super heroes abound but heavily controlled, scrutinized and often ostracized. Retro-futuristic vibes. Good grounds for a superb adventure.

The villains in Disney I’ve scored so far tend to perform well on Presence (because they are great characters) but fall away on being an actual villain. The bad guy in the first Incredibles movie is a brief part of the story with very little time to brood or boast around the heroes, but his setup is very powerful.

I’m being vague about who the villain is because I don’t like spoilers. The villain of Incredibles is the worst kept secret, but someone is always watching a great movie for the very first time and its a nice twist.

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Micolash: An Unskilled Guide

Not every Soulsborne boss is a winner. So are straight forward because they are teaching you how to play the game. So bosses have a gimmick that once solved makes the fight feel redundant. In the case of Micolash, we have something tedious.

When a boss beats us into the ground, we have to run back to the battle site from the bonfire/checkpoint. It’s a pain, but we soon figure out the quickest route and it gives us time to mentally prepare for the next round. In the case of Micolash, most of the fight is running around, rather than actually fighting the epitome of a ‘glass cannon’.

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Frollo – Greatest Disney BBEG?

A great deal has already been said about Judge Claude Frollo. He’s not the mightiest or the scariest, but he’s in contention for the most troubling of all Disney villains.

His main motivations are “I am going to rid Paris of an entire group for God or burn the city down trying”, “I need to kill this woman so I don’t lust after her” and “I’m going to shut this baby in a tower after killing his mother because I have righteous works to complete.”

What we are therefore looking at here is a very dangerous villain. Not just because he enjoys executions, but because he is a tyrannical, zealous lunatic.

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Celestial Emissary: An Unskilled Guide

Bosses in Bloodborne are hard. Some are very hard. Some are grotesque, eldritch, unspeakable assemblies of warped and elongated limbs.

Very few are actually cute. In my opinion, the Celestial Emissary is too cute to be a boss fight, with his big, bubble head and wobbly body. If you can put aside the harrowing origin of how him and his little marshmallowy minions, then they are actually quite endearing. It’s almost a shame I had to ruin the garden.

This boss can go very very smoothly. It’s a real late-game softball if you follow the short and simple guide below. Even if things start to get out of hand, it’s still easy to take charge; you just have to go for a little jog.

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Hades – Greatest Disney BBEG?

Jafar has sat smugly atop the leaderboard for a long time – and for good reason – but I think we finally have a true contender.

It seems so obvious that an actual god would make a good villain for your TTRPG, but most gods would actual be too powerful. Your level 5 fighter isn’t going to stand up to Ares and expect to scuff his armour. What makes Hades compelling though, is that he’s not directly involved in his own scheme. He’s a manipulator, a mastermind, until all the pieces are in place.

And that’s a sign of a good Big Bad Evil Guy.

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Martyr Logarius: An Unskilled Guide

When discussing “what is the hardest boss in Bloodborne?”, you cannot expect the same answer from everyone. If you miss a trick with an ‘easier’ boss, then it will feel harder to you. If someone confidentially claims one boss is hardest, players around them will be quick to agree/offer up who they think is hardest/explain why that boss isn’t actually hard at all.

For a long time, Martyr Logarius was my hardest boss. By the end of the first playthrough, I had not completed the Chalice Dungeons and DLC, and he remained at the top of my list. He was the only one I doubted I could beat on my next playthrough.

Even when I beat him once, I was not confident. By the end of my second win, I knew how I’d beaten him, and I think I can get you there too.

As always, if I can do it so can you!

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Professor Ratican – Greatest Disney BBEG?

21 people have played Moriarty on TV. Twenty One. Add up all the movies and stage shows and audio productions and we’re closing in on 100 variations. The Professor’s shown up in at least five different video games too.

It’s not simply because Sherlock Holmes is a compelling character/story. There are many storylines that do not include the Professor. He’s been seen and heard in so many times because he is a great villain. A Big Bag Evil Guy that enjoys begin mean and intelligent and better than everyone else. He is so successful that he will often bully Sherlock out of sheer boredom.

So a Table Top RPG villain based on Moriarty is a good idea. I would argue that, with clear evidence to prove it, that the rat crime lord based on Moriarty is an even better inspiration for your BBEG.

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Amygdala: An Unskilled Guide

When my attempts on a Soulsborne boss reach the double digits, I like many, scan the wiki articles for what I might need to do differently. For the most part, these are only so helpful, because my level skill limits how I might implement the friendly advice.

In the case of Amygdala, I actually needed to ignore the guidance I first read, because it was making things more difficult than it needed to be. As with most bosses, I found a clumsy, simple, brute force method that works. It won’t work every time, in this case, but it’ll get you there eventually.

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Elsa – Greatest Disney BBEG?

Ah, what could have been. Early on production, Elsa called ‘Greta’ and was a cold-hearted villain. I thoroughly enjoy the more heart-felt, nuanced take we ended up with, but I can’t help wondering what darkness we missed out on.

Elsa is still a villain though. She gets good right at the end, but before that she plunges her kingdom into ice, nearly kills her sister and several NPCs and only gets more and more powerful.

If this was the basis of a Table Top Role Playing Game, what we have hear is an adventure with two very different outcomes. Either the heroes convince Elsa to listen to sis and find her compassion… or they have to kill an ice queen.

Spoilers: And yes, I know who the ‘real’ villain is, we’re going to score them at the same time. He’s not worth a separate score sheet, and Elsa makes a much more fascinating BBEG.

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