Gamer Peak

Pthumerian Labyrinth Bosses: An Unskilled Guide

You’re either here because, like me, you’ve beaten the game once and now want to go back around and try the optional challenges. Or you’ve discovered the Chalice Dungeons a few hours in and want to know if it’s worth it. You might be here because you like seeing how badly these games go for people with no skill. You meanie.

As with the rest of this guide, I’m here to explain how I, an unskilled gamer, made it through the Chalice Dungeons. Specifically, I completed all the Dungeons that lead to that PlayStation Trophy. That means that the ‘git gudders’ will say that there’s so many other hard bosses I didn’t beat, but I did what is required to claim glory.

Below is how I tumbled and panicked through the three bosses of the first Dungeon. If I can do it, so can you.

Meet the Robinsons– Greatest Disney BBEG?

This is the first time that discussing Disney’s Big Bad Evil Guys has required me to do actual research. By that I mean I had to actually sit down, watch the movie and see its villain for the first time. I had a notepad nearby, so it counts as research.

I had zero memory of this movie. I do not remember its release, I did not recognize any of the characters. I only noted its existence because it’s next on the list in my copy of Disney Who’s Who, and no proverbial bells were rung.

Before viewing, I googled “Does Meet the Robinsons have a villain?” just to make sure it was worth my time. Google’s A.I. confidently interjected to state that yes, there is a villain. However, as if often the case, the A.I. got the details wrong. It insisted that ‘Bowler Hat Guy’ was the main antagonist, which (itty bitty spoilers going forward) is very very wrong.

Moon Presence: An Unskilled Guide

If you’re here, you have come a looong way. You’ve also decided that ‘just finishing’ the game was not enough. You haven’t just chosen to take on Gehrman rather than accept his deal. Now you want a little extra.

Compared to the guide to Gehrman I wrote two weeks prior, this is going to be a short one. I would never be so bold as to do what so many do around FromSoft bosses and declare Moon Presence to be ‘easy’. However, compared to Gehrman, compared to so many other bosses that came before him, you are likely more than prepared for Moon Presence.

If you are having trouble, there’s likely a simple strategy change you can make.

Ursula – Greatest Disney BBEG?

“Life’s full of tough choices, isn’t it?”

A Bad Guy that makes deals is always a fun concept for a Table Top Roleplaying Game. A hag making a promise with a handshake, a genie ready to twist the words of a wish, a devil being devilish with the details. It’s always going to lead to fun, nervous roleplaying, and often with long lasting ramifications.

Combine that with a half-octopus form, shapeshifting powers, evil eels, Poseidon’s trident… and we’re looking at a true contender for Greatest Disney Big Bad Evil Guy.

Gehrman: An Unskilled Guide

There’s no way around it, this addition to the guide is going to show me up as hypocrite.

You see, when I got to Gehrman… I did… I’m ashamed to say… Git (a little bit) Gud.

I know. I know. The point of this guide is that anyone can take on Bloodborne because I managed it and I’m neither skilled, nor am I quick, nor am I attempting anything except hacking-and-slashing. The more you play a game, the better you will get, but my Soulsborne experience has lacked any finesse until I got to Gehrman.

So, this unskilled guide is going to talk about parrying. But it’s okay. This is the only time I ever parried on my first playthrough, which meant I only had to figure out his moves. And Gehrman makes it quite obvious when he’d like you to parry.

Scar – Greatest Disney BBEG?

You don’t have to be a bad guy to the the bad guy, but it helps. So many villains, Disney or otherwise, have a loveable side, misunderstood in some way. If you want to be a true contender for greatest Big Bad Evil Guy, you really need to have that in your core.

For instance, someone who is ready to commit fratricide, nepiticide, abuse of multiple family members, a hostile takeover that leads to the breakdown of an entire ecosystem… well… they’re gunning for the number 1 spot.

Grand Councilwoman– Greatest Disney BBEG?

I’m not going to rant about the live action Lilo & Stitch. I’m not going to rant about the live action Lilo & Stitch. I’m not going to rant about the live action Lilo & Stitch. I’m not going to rant about the live action Lilo & Stitch…….

…but where was Gantu?! You can argue Dr. Jumba Jookiba is the main villain (if you didn’t actually watch the original movie properly) but not having the big guy show up at the end was one thing in a pile of niggling things I didn’t like about the remake.

But, like I say, I shan’t rant.

Regardless, if we’re looking at Lilo & Stitch from the perspective of a TTRPG adventure, neither Gantu nor Jookiba are the overarching villain. They are henchmen that ramp up the danger level in the 2nd and 3rd acts, but they are both in this story because of a supreme leader. The Grand Councilwoman is the first character on this list that is not explicitly her movie’s Big Bad, but if any character fits the BBEG role, it’s her.

Ebrietas: An Unskilled Guide

Get behind them. It’s a common piece of advice for Soulsborne bosses. But for Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos, it’s especially true.

You can face her head on, there’s a way to do it I’m sure. Yet, for a clumsy oath of a gamer like me, getting to the blind spot of this boss is essential.

And I don’t just mean standing behind them. I mean you need to get really behind them. At the risk of being vulgar, one needs to be so close to the back of Ebrietas that you can see the inside of the character model.

Shere Khan– Greatest Disney BBEG?

So I’ve skipped Inside Out. Following my guide alphabetically, that leads us to The Jungle Book. You know, unless we want to look at Rage as the antagonist, and I don’t personally find that healthy…

Now this being an animal bad guy, in an animal based world, we might need to postulate a very particular kind of TTRPG for this to work. A group of humanoid D&D heroes taking on sentient snakes and orangutan might be fun, but tonally jarring. Perhaps The Jungle Book would play well as a solo campaign where you play as Mogli, or a the players take on the rolls of the animals getting him to safety?

Regardless, Shere Khan must be measured alongside all those that have come before, and measure equally. Sorry to say, but I don’t think he’s going to make the campaign villain Top 10 at this stage.

Mergo’s Wet Nurse: An Unskilled Guide

Most advice on how to beat bosses in FromSoftware games falls into one of three camps. Camp One: Accurate, but very technical, assuming the reader has accrued some amount of skill. Camp Two: “Git gud”. Camp Three is the most nuanced: “What-are-you-talking-about-that-boss-is-easy!”.

With the exception of the Witches, who I repeatedly beat by running around in circles and swinging carefree, I will always acknowledge that all bosses will be difficult to someone. Flukes happen, different attack patterns suit different play-styles, etc.

However, Mergo’s Wet Nurse initially had me rolling my temporarily-smug little eyes. It took two goes to beat a late game boss and with very little stress. Thankfully, I played the game again and she showed me what she can really do. Turns out, she’d been holding back.